Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Trucker Talking Toddler

I know this is bad. Really bad. Thanks to me, my 2 year old says 'What the fuck!' anytime something doesn't work or when she is doing something she isn't supposed to. Now, I try to set a good example. And really thought I was watching my mouth...but when a toddler walks up to you with shit smeared all over their face, or when they dump a full bottle of laundry soap on the white carpet, or they flush your cell phone down the toilet, sometimes the phrase 'What the fuck!' just sort of flies out without your knowledge.

Having a toddler is a barrel full of monkeys. Most of the time they are so adorable and funny, the crazy ass shit they pull is soon forgotten, like when they come barreling down the hall at 3 am screaming bloody murder because they want to sleep with you, or when they smear cheese and milk in their hair because they are watching the Yo Gabba Gabba Gang sing about magic shampoo.

Now, I never claimed to be perfect. I try to be good as much as possible. I could never tell the 'perfect mommies' that I know about this what the fuck predicament, because they would gasp in horror and would head straight to church to start praying for my soul.I know that the perfect mommy society across the board will judge me for this. I have a plan in the works. I am working on correcting the issue by choosing the same method that mothers choose to do when their kid is throwing a tantrum in a store - ignore it. And hope that she forgets about it and moves on to a more appropriate vocabulary soon.

As for myself, I have realized that I have to be more PG. My every move is being watched and carefully calculated by a toddler who has me under tight surveillance 24/7. And if she grows up with weird issues and a potty mouth, I will only have myself to blame. All fucked up issues start in our childhood. I have decided that from now on, the only place I can vent my trucker mouth tendencies is here, online, where there doesn't seem to be much of a filter on anything, and anything goes! What the fuck is that about anyway? 

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