I try to write at least one new entry in my book of quotes & inspirational sayings every week. Today I have a most awesome one, thanks to Dr. Phil. That man can place all the right words in a sentence, that pulls the brain light switch on. This week's quote is "If you have to stop being who you are as an individual, to be the other half of a couple, the price is too high."
I know women of all ages-some even in their 50's and 60's, that still do not know who they are. All they know is how to please others. Wherever their spouse/significant other wants to live, is where they live. Whatever hobbies their mate is into, is what they are into. My own mother is a perfect example of this woman. My analogy of this is, women are scared shitless of being alone. Just the mere thought of being alone is so terrifying, that we will stay in abusive relationships, allow our children to be molested, stifle our dreams, settle for less, and sacrifice our entire lives all for the sake of having a mate.
Hey, I am not judging anyone. The only reason I know this is from experience. In my 20's, I was absolutely hopelessly madly in love with my ex-husband. It didn't matter what he did - no matter how degrading, abusive or mean he could be - I put up with it and came back for more.
Let's rewind 5 years.......
I went to every event that he (my ex-husband) had - for work and for pleasure. I was the wife, the bookkeeper, the mother, the animal caretaker, the maid, the cook, the President of the city softball league, and had a full time career. Together we made a decent living - around $150K per year. We were stressed out though - we had a lot of payments to deal with for the things that we all think that we need. On the outside, it looked all put together. On the inside, I was dying.
That time in my life taught me a valuable lesson.
Happiness comes from within. Other people, or things, no matter how great, will never bring you the state of bliss that is lingering right inside your own soul. And until we can realize that, we rely on outer sources to fulfill the void we are feeling. The moral of this post is: Be who you are. Do what makes YOU happy. And do not feel guilty for it, do not apologize for it, and be proud to be you. Learn to be in absolute love with yourself. Because seriously, you are all you really have in the world for certain.